" I feel I am very sane about how crazy I am." -Carrie Fisher
"Own your Crazy." -Kim

Saturday, May 19, 2012

The Blind Side

I watched the Blind Side with Mary last night. Her choice at red box after grocery shopping just the two of us. Our teenager drove off to a swim party, the preteen and fifth grader had sleepovers and that left Mary, Daddy and I. It is a movie of inspiration I think. A reminder that there is a bigger picture, that we can all do better. I watched it differently than I did the first time. This time I was thinking of her children. I watched the scene where her teenage daughter ignores and defies her friends to go sit with her new 7ft, 350lb, African American brother, and I was thoughtful. I realized the attention and hype has always been about what that woman gave Michael Ohr. In reality she gave her birth children much more. She gave them a perspective on life that makes each of them a person of character. I am refocused. I would feel like I had done my job if I could do that.

Summer is a week out. I haven't blogged since September, and I have been less than committed since starting this two years ago. I loved the summer I started. Quiet mornings before the girls got up, typing and drinking coffee. I am sensing that I will make my way back to it this summer.

The last week of school is difficult for me. I am looking forward to the down time with my own children. We aren't doing summer swim team this year. First time in twelve years. This should make writing difficult to some extent, as my best stories always come from summer swim team. But, it is time for a change. A summer of no schedules and relaxation. A time to focus on the girls and their friends. Do the things I don't have time for all year.

I don't have time during the year because I teach. And this is why the last week of school is difficult for me. I love my class. It was a great year. I had amazing students and amazing parents. I am never ready to say good-bye. I said this last year, I will say it again next year, and I am sure the year after that. Blessed.

Tomorrow is my oldest daughters last dance competition. She is moving on to Lodi High Drill team next year. Bittersweet. I did NOT want to do competitive dance. I forbade it. I said NO. I said HELL NO. But, in this house sometimes hell no means, "Yeah, ok, maybe. Let's give it a try." So, try we did and it has been amazing for her. She is beautiful and confident and poised and talented. I am grateful to Miss Wendy for seeing all of that in my daughter and bringing it to the surface.

But, next year drill. Which brings a new commitment to Lodi High, football, basketball and all things red. I wasn't good at Lodi High the first time in 1986. There was no drill team (not talented enough),no proms (but, funny stories that I just might get to this summer), and a lack of understanding of who I was, and what I was all about. This would come to me later, in college. I tell my best friend (the best part of Lodi High for me, so I kept her), "I get to do everything I wanted to do in high school ...I just had to wait until I was 43."

Summer 2012...I am ready and inspired by the Blind Side...thank you Mary good movie choice! Next blog ...funny...I promise!,